Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment: Understanding Differences & Healing Strategies
Anxious and avoidant attachment styles describe different ways individuals may experience closeness, safety, and connection in relationships. These patterns can develop in response to early relational experiences, emotional environments, or past relationships that shaped one’s sense of safety and connection over time.
Individuals with an anxious attachment style may notice heightened sensitivity to perceived distance or disconnection in relationships. This can include fears of abandonment, worries about being rejected, or concerns about being “too much” for others. In contrast, individuals with an avoidant attachment style may feel more comfortable with independence and self-reliance and may sometimes find emotional closeness overwhelming or difficult to sustain. They may cope by creating emotional distance, minimizing needs, or withdrawing during moments of vulnerability.
These attachment styles can appear in everyday interactions. Both reflect attempts to feel safe, even when they may contribute to misunderstandings or emotional strain within relationships.
Healing may look different for each attachment style. For individuals with anxious attachment, some strategies people explore include building self-trust, learning to regulate emotional responses, and developing a greater sense of internal security. For those with avoidant attachment, approaches may involve gently increasing emotional awareness, tolerating vulnerability, and exploring what closeness can feel like in safe and respectful ways. Awareness of one’s attachment patterns can create space for curiosity rather than self-judgment.
Therapy can offer a supportive and collaborative space to explore attachment patterns and the experiences that shaped them. With professional support, many people discover ways to enhance emotional regulation, communication, and a balanced sense of closeness and independence in relationships.
If you’re interested in exploring these attachment patterns, I offer psychotherapy services online across Ontario and in person in Burlington. You’re welcome to book a free consultation here: https://guidingyou.janeapp.com
The information shared in this blog is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute psychotherapy or replace professional mental health care. Reading this does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please contact a qualified mental health professional or call 988 for immediate support. For more information about how your personal information is collected, used, and protected, please review my Privacy Policy.
Written by Cierra DoCouto, Registered Psychotherapist, CRPO #17131
